Of course, you should be prepared with a strong understanding of your needs and motivations. But, you need to know much more about the other side so you can plan your personal approach. How you look for your meeting can affect the outcome. My advice is to know as much as you can about whom you will be negotiating with. Do your research about each individual who will be present, gather together relevant information about them, ask about them from a mentor or colleague.

Every industry has its own nuances and styles. You need to figure out who you need to “be” in order to have the most successful outcome with your negotiation. How you look for your negations has an effect on your outcome. Just as you prepare all of your facts and figures for your conversation, you must also prepare your look to get the best possible opening reviews. You want the other party to accept you and hear you right from the moment they see you. Your appearance is the first impression they will have of you. You want them to “buy in” to you right away, as that will get you closer to your goal faster.

Here are some tips: mimic their style, put yourself in an attractive light and don’t create distractions. What does mimic their style mean? It doesn’t mean be who you are not, but rather present yourself in such a way that will look good to the other party. Think about when you walk through a cosmetics department, don’t you look for help from the sales person who looks most pleasing to you, or most resembles a look that you’d feel comfortable with? Mimic their look means to create a look for yourself that will be most pleasing for them to receive you. Negotiations are all about getting the other party to listen to you. Your hair, your clothing and your accessories should all be in tune to the tastes of the other party. It’s like music, what they see should flow easily on their eyes and then that opens their ears and mind to hearing you. Your look should never be filled with distractions. You don’t want the other party to feel like there is noise in the room and they need to turn it down. If the other party feels that way upon their initial viewing of you, then they will never be open to hearing your negations. A winning look is a good start to gaining all you want. Good luck!

Women tend to think of getting along vs. getting what they want. Be clear about what you want and practice asking for it in a calm, direct manner. Our advice: don’t be confrontational. Getting fired-up and emotional may have an adverse reaction.

When I partner with other people on projects, I often get the “short end of the stick.” I end up taking on more than my share of the work or doing things that benefit the other person at my own expense. I can’t blame anyone, because I don’t speak up enough about what I want. Can you help me figure out how to change this?

Thanks,

Carrie

Dear Carrie,

There may be many contributing factors, but in simplest terms it sounds like you’re placing the wants and needs of others above your own. It’s fine to do this sometimes, when you’ve considered the circumstances and made a conscious decision to do so. It’s a problem when it becomes a pattern. If you want one thing and the other person wants something else, an opportunity to negotiate arises. If you give in without communicating what you want, the other person might not realize that you’re being accommodating. This lessens the likelihood that things will go your way the next time around out of simple fairness.

The first step is to know exactly what you want in a situation. With clarity often comes the courage to speak up. The next step is to learn techniques to negotiate effectively. There are many resources to support development of these skills: workshops, videos, audio programs-I recommend the following two books which many find very helpful:

Getting To Yes, by Roger Fisher and Bill Ury-it’s a classic guide to negotiation and includes principles that can prove effective even when you’re the only one using them.

Stand Up for Your Life, by Cheryl Richardson-it’s a wonderful source of practical steps to build self-confidence and shift patterns like the one you describe (and it’s also very inspiring).

The best thing about practicing negotiation skills is that you begin to get more of what you want-great reward for the effort. Good luck!

Getting People to Talk in Meetings

Dear Jill,

I lead a lot of group meetings and find it challenging to get people to participate. Often I’ll ask a group a question and just get silence or one person over-participates. Do you have any tips on how to get people to talk?

Thank you,

Linda

Dear Linda,

This is an age old issue that can challenge even the most talented meeting facilitators. I suggest that you try adding a little structure. You can prepare a handout before a meeting with questions you want to ask. Invite participants to complete the handout individually-in the meeting-before you begin discussion. (People are much more likely to voice responses that they’ve just recorded.) Once people have completed the handout, state your expectations, e.g., “It would be great to hear from everyone on this.” If the group tends to be really quiet, you can invite one person to begin and then circle the table, asking for each person’s input.

Sometimes the best way to handle an “over-participator” is to encourage others to chime in. You might try simply saying: “Let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet…” This is likely to increase others’ participation and sends a message to those who dominate.

There is also a great book I’ll recommend: How To Make Meetings Work! by Michael Doyle-it’s a “tried and true” guide to planning and facilitating meetings, and includes strategies on how to deal with a wide array of challenges.

The most effective facilitators are often the most flexible, so it’s helpful to have several tools in your kit. I encourage you to speak with other meeting facilitators to share challenges, tools and techniques. This is a great topic for peer coaching!

HOW TO PREPARE

Preparation starts long before you attend a meeting, respond to a telephone inquiry, or create an email proposal. Take the example of “Renee Davis Design,” a graphic design and marketing strategy firm. Renee was recommended to “Anonyme,” a leisurewear company, for a branding deal that could introduce Renee to a higher level of, and new industry for, clientele. Anonyme needed a new branding strategy and a revamped image, and to use them a variety of media including print and Web. Before agreeing to a deal with Anonyme, Renee asked herself questions that you, too, should consider:

1. What is your business and its needs? Get back to “brass tacks” about the kind of work you do. Anonyme had diverse needs, which had to be fulfilled quickly. Was Renee sufficiently talented to translate the branding strategy to tangible form, such as stationery, media kits, and website? Did she have adequate time or staffing? While the work might generate a bigger-than-normal fee, was leisurewear-focused Anonyme really within Renee’s target market? Could she devote her undivided time to such a large account, to the exclusion of her other clients? Would Anonyme follow Renee’s direction, or would its corporate culture impede change? What non-financial needs do you have (such as “I want to work with progressive companies”)?
2. What is your bottom line? Know your financial parameters, such as your profit margin. Renee had to consider the cost of both her time in performing Anonyme’s work, and that of any outsourced help. In setting her price, what was the least amount Renee could charge and still be profitable? At what milestones would Renee be paid? Overestimating your ability to perform and the other side’s willingness to pay timely could be disastrous.
3. What kind of bargaining power do you have? Consider how much leverage you have with your negotiating partner. What do you offer that the other side wants or needs? In Renee’s case, Anonyme needed creative and strategic thinking implemented quickly. As a result, Renee was able to negotiate favorable terms into her agreement with Anonyme that were not initially offered. Your bargaining power is linked to the risks you accept. If your leverage is weak, you may be forced into a take-it-or-leave-it deal. Be honest with yourself about the level of risk you feel comfortable accepting.

HOW TO LISTEN

Listen with your mouth closed. Negotiating partners generally do not raise issues that are insignificant to them. If you are so busy talking about your own needs, you will not hear what is important to the other side. Listening enables you to learn the other side’s concerns if the relationship goes awry. This includes “penalties” such as price reductions for missed deadlines or interest charged on outstanding invoices.

When you listen, you can get to the “heart of the art.” By listening carefully, you will hear what the other side wants (or wants to avoid) most. Once you know that, you can control the negotiation.

HOW TO COMPROMISE

The art of successful negotiation makes each side feel that it “won.” The science of compromise - based on preparation and listening — reveals which issues are deal breakers and which are “give-aways.”

In negotiating with Anonyme, Renee made three lists: an “A” list of items she felt Anonyme considered unimportant (e.g., interest charged on unpaid invoices); a “B” list of items that Anonyme considered vital (e.g., contract price and obtaining intellectual property rights); and a “C” list of items that could go either way (e.g., payment at intervals). Renee determined that any of her “deal points” (like contract price) to which Anonyme did not agree would cause Renee to “walk.”

Renee raised “A” list items first, both to establish an environment of agreement and to secure those “A” list items that were important to her. Renee then moved to the “B” list items, to see where Anonyme might be flexible. Where Anonyme would not budge, Renee used items from the “C” list as bargaining chips. For example, Anonyme insisted on obtaining intellectual property rights in all of Renee’s ideas (”B” list). Renee limited that (by drawing on the “C” list) to designs and concepts that Anonyme actually selected. Also, Anonyme agreed to pay only $25,000.00 (a “B” list item) - enough for Renee to profit, but not to the extent she hoped. So Renee negotiated the right to be paid at milestones (”C” list), which reduced her financial risks and bolstered her cash flow.

CONCLUSION

Renee got results from her negotiation with Anonyme because she took the time to prepare her deal points. She held fast to them and was not tempted by lesser (to her) considerations, such as “I want Anonyme on my client list.” In any negotiation, whatever its size, take careful notes of what you agreed upon and confirm it in writing. It’s also best to have an attorney review the writing to make sure that the language you use does not impose any unintended legal obligation

A negotiation that doesn’t result in an agreement is not necessarily bad. It may be the right result. It’s a far better thing to know in advance that your arrangement with the vendor/client/landlord/bank (or other negotiating partner) would not work to your mutual benefit rather than to find yourself mired in a situation from which you have no easy or inexpensive escape.

No one expects to go into a shoe store, ask for free shoes, and walk out of the store! If you don’t value your services, no one else will. So if you’re holding back information that you rightfully should be paid for, and you believe that you’re hoarding or being stingy, please look to see if that belief is based in reality.

Setting boundaries on just how much free information, or free services, you’ll give away is not easy to do.
And what can you say to people who 1) ask outright for free information, or 2) just start talking to you about something and you realize that they’re trying to “borrow” your valuable resources without becoming a client?

Here are some ideas. Try them on to see what “fits” you best.

1. My charge for an initial consultation is “x.” If we turn out to be a good match, and you hire me, I’ll apply 1/2 of “x” towards your commitment.

2. Yes, I do work with clients on “name the issue.” Would you like to set up a consultation?

3. That will cost “x” per hour.

4. There’s a lot I can do for you that’s similar to the work I did for “xyz” client. Would you like to get together and build a marketing plan? (And then charge for those services.)

5. Are you looking to hire _____? Well, I’d love to talk to you about that; my fees are “x” per hour.”

6. “Well, the answer to that question depends…” and then spend a few minutes explaining some of the options and considerations. For example, I may explain that the best way to identify the “solution” is to work backward from the desired end result and process. That provides a natural lead-in to: “If I were to work with you on this project, here’s how we would do it…”

7. A complete answer to your question is going to take more than 15 minutes over the phone. Would you like me to send you a proposal on this?

8. I have really enjoyed talking with you and would like to help more. May I send you one of my brochures and a rate card?

9. Do you have a time line and/or budget in mind for solving this problem?

10. It’s not a good time for me to discuss this right this minute. Would you like to briefly discuss project guidelines and fees?

Remember, as a service business owner, part of what you “offer” clients and what they value from you is your knowledge and expertise. It’s as much a part of your “services” as any tangible materials you produce. So make sure to treat it as such, and get compensated fairly! When you value your services, others will, too.

© Maria Marsala, founder of Elevating Your Business, business management coach/strategist draws on her Wall Street trading experience and 30-plus years business experience to grow service and financial industry businesses. http://www.ElevatingYourBusiness.com and http://www.BusinessCoachPlus.com

No matter what you do, you’re bound to encounter difficult clients, vendors and peers.

It’s just a fact of life. Sometimes you see it coming, sometimes you deal with it because there’s an end benefit to you (a great credential on your resume or a sweet amount of cash in your bank account); occasionally you are blindsided. If you haven’t done so already, take some time to review these tips, so you can be prepared, rebound with grace and keep your sanity intact.

Basic Negotiation Survival Skills

Let’s start with one of the hardest things: Honestly communicating your expectations. Many negotiations fail because people spend way too much time dancing around the issue instead of calmly and confidently outlining the facts. That said, we’ve all known folks that open their mouths and automatically tick people off, versus the productively-oriented crowd, who can effectively stand their ground without alienating everyone in the room. Opting for the latter will help you get where you want to go. Which brings me to my next point…

Be positive. Even if you have bad news to share, you can improve any negotiation if you take a sunnier, constructive route versus the jackhammer, finger- pointing approach. Don’t have a resolution to a problem? Try saying: “We are actively seeking a solution” versus the gloomier version: “We have nothing new to report.” One approach screams competency, the other, not.

Everyone is busy, and all too many people have missed the “Miss Manners” memo on professional behavior, so the next thing to keep in mind is actually pretty simple. Don’t take things personally. Women especially have a hard time with this, myself included. We mull and fester and read into things way too much. Be like a duck and let most stuff just roll off your back. You’ll be surprised at how much faster you can get back on track adopting this stance.

Concentrate on the big picture. When you microsize an event or problem, you can actually end up supersizing a problem. Maximize the outcome by keeping things in perspective.

Everyone cannot agree. If you understand and accept this at the get-go, you can actually take a fair amount of weight off your shoulders. Think of it this way - you have your opinion, “they” have theirs. What can you both do to accommodate each other’s goals, so you can find that middle ground.

Don’t ignore warning signs. I regularly act as an outsourced marketing consultant, one of my resources decided they wanted to handle things differently. I had a few red flags but decided to work around them. The result: in the middle of a very important project I suddenly had to regroup and do damage control with a client.

Sometimes bad situations can lead to great things. If you are like most people you avoid conflict. More often than not, after slogging through a difficult or uncomfortable situation, you can actually end up in a better position than when you started! While my recent incident was not fun, the end result is I now have a much wider network of talented peers to rely on, who are quite happy to work with me on my terms.

Taking the time to think about better ways to react and respond to difficult situations will help you buff up your business negotiating prowess, so you can keep your business chi balanced and happy!

As a business owner with two businesses: writing and life coaching, my list of things to do and follow up on has increased. Marketing, selling, and managing two businesses have to be balanced with taking care of my home and personal life. Where do I draw the line when taking the time to call a friend may mean less time for me to write an article? How do I get myself to focus on chores when I would much rather be working on an outline for my book? Not to mention the times I’ve turned on my laptop before I’ve had my morning coffee only to look up and find that it’s already time for lunch.

There has to be a negotiation between the business side and the personal side. Yes, they are both part of one person, but they probably don’t have the same priorities. Devoting ourselves solely to our businesses means that a very large part of our lives is being left out. Sometimes feeling just as burned out as I felt when I was in my corporate job. While I know that working for myself often means long hours, when it starts feeling like “work” then I know I’ve gone too far.

Returning to my center and negotiating between the business work and the personal life is not easy. Some personal things on my “to do” list - like laundry and housecleaning - are not exactly exciting. I’d much rather be writing or working with a client. However, the chores (and the fun) are a part of life and to neglect them because I’m only focused on the business will throw everything out of balance.

What are some ways to negotiate through business and personal needs?

• Set a time to start and stop working.
• Have time that is strictly family time or friend time.
• Schedule appointments on your calendar for things like going to the gym or getting a manicure.
• Determine your best work times during the day. When are you the most productive? Use those hours for business. Perhaps less productive times can be saved for chores or simply relaxing.
• Don’t work endless hours believing that once you’ve made a certain dollar amount, you’ll slow down. You won’t. Start now and build the foundation for balancing your business and personal life.
• Make your family and friends partners in your success. Let them know that you’ll still have time for them and set aside that time.

It’s exciting to have your own business, but don’t neglect the other parts of your life. Success isn’t just about a dollar amount or how many business you build - it’s about enjoying your success in all parts of your life. Take the time to make the negotiations between, around and through the challenges so that you can create the life of your dreams.

What are the keys to successful negotiation?

1. Know exactly how to sell your business in a simple easy way so people will understand the benefits of working with you instead of your competitors.

2. Listen to your prospective clients to find THE solution to their challenge then convince them of how you can be that resolve.

As in successful networking, you need an effective 30 seconds commercial or elevator pitch to introduce yourself and your business and ask the right questions when negotiating. Most importantly, your need to listen to their answers in order to know how you can be the solution they need. Keep in mind that the only thing they’re interested in is “What’s in it for me?”.

Once you’re the answer to their number one concern you get their attention and are on your way to closing the sale. Your mission is to learn quality information that can be used to build a positive relationship with your clients in order to sell them the best offer. People are more willing to work with people they know, like and trust, therefore building relationships is a very important part of the negotiation process. It will also justify your rates even if you are more expensive than your competitors because once they’re assured that your expertise will save them time and money, price will not be an issue.
Negotiating skills are synonymous with networking and communication skills. The better you communicate the better you negotiate and the more clients you will attract to your business.

To learn more tips like this one about how to maximize YOUR negotiating, networking and
communication skills, visit www.biba4network.com and sign-up for my free mini e-course. “15 Ways to Maximize Your Networking Results”.

(c) 2008 Biba F. Pédron

1. Set an intention or goal for the meeting. Know exactly what you expect going into and coming out of the negotiation process. Make sure this intention is realistic and the goal is clear. Clarity is key. Many of my clients are artists. I never go into a meeting thinking that artists are starving and cannot afford my services. I offer a great, affordable service and one that can expand their sales. My intention is always to help them sell their work.

2. Enter the meeting with knowledge but only give it away when asked. One of my best negotiation teachers once told me ‘don’t spill your beans in the lobby’. In other words, if you come in and start sharing your features and benefits, the prospect might not need or want them. People feel better when they get a chance to talk about themselves and their needs. And, you walk away learning more about the prospect.

3. Not spilling your beans in the lobby means listening to the needs of your prospect so that you can design something specifically for them. I can’t assume each of my artist clients wants the same thing. I have amateur artists who want their first opportunity in a gallery and I have experience artists who have regular shows at the Javitz Center in NYC and are seen all over the world. The needs of each client are dramatically different. I need to customize my services to fit each client’s needs.

4. Customization means also knowing your personality or style and the personality of each of your prospects and clients. There are some great tools around that help assess this including Myers Briggs and DISC. I took the DISC (Dominant, Influencer, Steady, Conscious thinker) assessment recently and found out that I’m an Achiever type. I like to be sold to in a very certain way. I like sales people who are direct and just tell me the facts. I don’t need a lot of ‘schmoozing’ or to get caught up in a lot of details or facts. This means that when I’m with an Influencer, I have to be more jovial and social when negotiating and selling. When I’m someone who needs the facts, I have to step up my game and find those facts. While you can’t ask your client to take a personality test, by knowing your style, you can typically start assessing your client’s style. This has helped negotiations in my business tremendously.

5. Know who the final decision maker is when you are involved in negotiations. Sometimes you can spend hours with someone who is friendly and says ‘yes’ and then in the end you find out they are not the person who controls the finances or can really make the decision to buy your product or service. I ask right up front if the person I’m negotiating with can make these decisions. If not, I make sure that that person is on board in the first meeting.

6. Find creative solutions to your customer’s problems. Negotiations end very quickly when you offer a solution to your customer’s problems. One of my clients wanted to sell artwork on line but admittedly had limited technological skills and no desire to host her own website. So, I offered her an affordable web page on my site. As a result, other artists have jumped on board and my business in this area has grown - a win-win for all of us.

7. It’s important in negotiations to have both sides leave feeling empowered and good about the interaction. If you are selling as a team, this is when ‘good cop/bad cop‘ comes in handy. One person on your team is positive and one person is a naysayer. This helps you gauge really where your client stands on certain issues. Eventually, good cop wins and your client leaves feeling confident.

8. Knowing when to walk away is a skill that takes some practice. Many times, I’ve left a meeting too early without the sale. Salespeople who leave with business stand their ground. I consider myself pretty good at reading people. I hear when a client says ‘well, anyway’ or ‘maybe I’ll call you later’ or words that indicate that you are going to walk away without a deal. I still respect my client’s time but now I ask right up front what the hesitation is. It sometimes comes down to money and then I’m prepared with some options for my clients. Oftentimes, however, it is about something other than money. Finding out exactly why a prospect or client is hesitating is important and should be determined before the meeting is over. Plus, it lengthens the meeting and I often walk away with the sale by just standing my ground.

9. You have to believe in what you do. I genuinely help people get unstuck, move forward, increase sales, live their dreams and creatively explore new opportunities. I’m confident in my abilities and this shows. There is no way you can negotiate without a strong and confident position.

10. Enjoy the process of negotiation. I make it a game and have fun in everything I do.

Good luck! If you want to practice your negotiation skills, give me a call at 518-842-1757 and we’ll negotiate a price!

Welcome to the 21^st issue of WomenandBiz.com.

In this issue, our guest writers are discussing negotiation skills: negotiating price, negotiating to close a sale, negotiating at meetings, negotiating your time, negotiating to grow!

When negotiating, remember to listen, to clearly communicate your goals and expectations, so that you come up with win-win situations.

If you haven’t read our interview with Nandini Mukherjee, founder and president of Indian Bread Co yet, take a look at the issues she had with one of her investors, and how she overcame the challenges.

We are taking suggestions for the theme of our 5^th year anniversary issue that we will be celebrating in September/October. Please visit our “about us” page to submit your suggestion!

All the best creating successful negotiation strategies for your business,

Elisa Balabram

Founder and Editor, WomenandBiz.com

Could you please tell us about your business?

I’m the Founder and President of Indian Bread Company and what you have is a unique concept where we marry Indian flavors with the portability and convenience of the American sandwich. So what you have is curry on the go options and we have Naan breads and Indian fillings like saag chicken and saag paneer [cottage cheese], which we fill inside and we make naaninis and naanwiches.

How long have you been in business?

I’ve been in business for four and a half years.

PHOTO BY AMY FLETCHER*

How did you come up with this idea?

When I came here for my Masters, I would always be exploring the budget gourmet options, and although I enjoy food from all over the globe, Indian food let me a little disappointed. I thought there was this market gap for fresh flavorful Indian food with a good value for money and that’s how this whole idea generated and Indian Bread Company started forming in my head.

How about the challenges that you faced?

I’d say that the first challenge we faced is that when we were about to sign the lease, we already had an investor on board, and one day before signing the lease he came to me and he said that either I should increase his stakes or he would be bailing out. That was pretty much at the last minute, and I just thought it was not ethical. I had to actually let go of him and pull in all my resources and go ahead with it myself. The landlord was pretty good, he didn’t ask for a guarantor. Suddenly my budget was slashed in half, and I had to be working in the kitchen along with my cooks for 14-hour days for 7 days a week, for a year. But I would say that what this situation really taught me was, that I could have worked with a smaller budget that what I had intended to, so I actually ended up learning a lot out of it. And I don’t regret one bit because when we open the doors, we received great reviews from the press and it’s still pouring in.

What are your plans for the future?

We intend to grow Indian Bread Company as a multi-unit enterprise, and right now we are location hunting for our second one, hopefully we should have two running by the end of the year. We’ve had a lot of interest from all over the U.S., like Chicago, DC, LA, and even as far as London, and that’s in the near future, but as of now we would like to spend in New York City.

What advice would you give to someone who wants to start a business?

I actually have a rule of 5 that I follow that always helps me in my business:

1- Believe in your idea and in its potential

2- Never stop researching and testing your idea

3- Know your network and leverage it

4- Use your resources wisely

5- Visualize your idea and know that it’s just around the corner for it to materialize

Congratulations on receiving the NAWBO-NY Promise Signature Award! Could you tell us what this award means to you?

I think it’s a big honor and it’s very encouraging to receive the Promise Award, because they think that I show the promise of breakthrough and it’s good to know that they think the same thing that I do. And also I have put on my signature email and I noticed a difference in the dealings of most of my colleagues and even investors. Future investors are showing interest in investing in our company and when they see the NAWBO Signature Award, as a part of my signature on the email. It makes a major difference to them and their belief in me increases.

Where is your store?

We are located at 194 Bleecker Street, that’s between 6^th Avenue and McDougal Street and the best way to get there would probably be either by subway A, B, C, D, E and F to West 4^th Street, or if you are driving down, you come up on 6^th Avenue and take a left on Bleecker and that’s where we are. For more information, please visit www.indianbreadco.com.

* Amy Fletcher is the Owner of A.E. Fletcher Photography, specializing in professional portraits and event photography. For more information and to see samples of her work, please visit www.aefletcher.com. Amy is a proud member of NAWBO.

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