Have you ever had a dream that you believed you could never achieve and never acted on it? Or do you have experience pursuing a dream, only to have life and business realities get in the way?

I have learned that sometimes all you need is to start from where you are. If you are willing to take small steps, build a foundation, and focus on where you are going, you can achieve dreams you haven’t even thought of.

Our guest writers thoroughly discuss ways to figure out your dreams, to pursue them, to better communicate with others and to avoid procrastinating. You will also read about the realities of doing business online, of being (or not) technology savvy, of having 1-page agreement, of wearing many hats, and of getting a bank loan.

We are featuring Cheryl Diamond, an example of resilience and strength – she never let rejection stop her from pursuing her dreams; and Amy Gibson, whose life reality helped her think creatively to follow her career as an actress and later to start her own business, helping others facing the same reality.

To learn from successful entrepreneurs, visit the Profiles’ page, where you will find links to all interviews since the first issue.

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Success achieving your dreams and facing all the realities of business and life,

Elisa Balabram
Editor, Womenandbiz.com

* Your Credit History. In this electronic age, lending sources can instantly evaluate how quickly and thoroughly you have paid your obligations to banks and other financial companies. Late payments, delinquent loans, bankruptcies, how much credit you have been extended by banks, credit card companies, department stores, and credit bureaus are all readily available to potential financial sources at the touch of a few computer keys.
* Your Character. Ultimately, the loan decision often comes down to a personal evaluation made by one or more loan officers. I’ve witnessed loans granted to entrepreneurs with bankruptcies in their past and loans denied to people with stellar credit histories because the loan officers’ sixth sense was triggered. This is so common that banks have a term for loans made to people without enough credit worthiness to sustain a loan. They’re called “character loans.”
* Your Collateral. Nothing makes a banker happier than collateral to back up a loan. Mortgages are collateralized by the houses they finance. Leases are collateralized by the equipment that is being leased. Having collateral is a way for a bank to be repaid if the loan is forfeited. Most lending sources require existing collateral such as an entrepreneur’s home, securities, or other assets, before they grant small business loans.
* Your Personal Guarantee. Lending sources want to make the entrepreneur generally liable for the loan, not just the business she’s starting. A personal guarantee provides this assurance without necessarily specifying the particular collateral. If you have few assets, a personal guarantee may not mean much, but if you have a home with significant equity value, or a large savings or investment account, giving the bank a personal guarantee will make the officers very happy, just as it should make you very nervous.
* Government Loan Guarantees. Federal agencies, such as the Small Business Administration, and various state programs help banks say yes to loans by essentially agreeing to guarantee repayment of some portion of the loan, ranging between 50% to 90%. While these government loan guarantees carry a paperwork burden for both entrepreneur and lender, they encourage lenders to feel more comfortable approving loans. The presence of a government guarantee rarely stops a lender from asking for – and usually receiving – other collateral or personal guarantees for the loan. This gives bankers more than 100% in collateral and guarantees and is rather like wearing both a belt and suspenders – unnecessary and unattractive, but it certainly keeps your pants up.
* Your Credit Scoring. Some credit research firms, most notably Fair, Isaac and Company, calculate a single figure into what they call a credit score for entrepreneurs. Factors such as your payment history, the amount of borrowing relative to your credit lines, recent inquiries by other financial institutions, and the types of credit you use, are put into a computer model that produces this single number, which is scored on a scale from a low of 400, representing poor credit, to a high of 900, representing strong credit.

The best loan for any banker is one in which the business generates enough money to comfortably make the interest payments and ultimately return the entire amount of the bank’s money. Government guarantees, personal guarantees, and collateral are just fall back positions in case the business fails and the entrepreneur defaults on the loan. Collecting from a guarantee or taking and selling collateral generate a huge amount of work and aggravation for the bank and invariably mark the end of its business relationship with the borrower. When a business performs as anticipated, meets its obligations, and even grows to the point that its credit needs increase, the bank, the loan officers, and the entrepreneur have a win-win situation on which they can build a long-term, mutually beneficial business relationship.

This long term, mutually-beneficial business relationship must start with financial projections the bankers find credible and then, throughout the relationship with the bank, prove to be credible. Of course, you want to have a strong credit score, show yourself to be of good character, and be able to offer as much in collateral or guarantees as are needed so the bank makes the loan, but, in the long run, financial performance and credibility are what truly matter.

Many of our clients come to us confused about how their dreams meet reality in regards to technology. Below are some of the technology dreams we hear from clients along with their corresponding realities. Maybe you’ll recognize a few.

Dream: You want never to have to deal with technology again. You want to delegate it totally to your ‘tech person’ and never have to deal with it.

Reality: You alone are responsible for your company’s technology. That doesn’t mean you can’t delegate tasks. It just means you need to know at least the basics; such as with which company your domain name is registered, the name, phone number and account number of your website hosting company, if all your software is appropriately licensed, etc. If something goes awry, the powers that be will want to talk to you — not your ‘tech person’.

Dream: You want to keep up with the latest technology. If everyone’s talking about it, it must be something you need. Staying current will keep you ahead of the curve and guarantee a competitive edge.

Reality: There is such a thing as technology overload. I call it technology bling. Many businesses overcompensate. Trying to keep up with the Joneses will do just that – make your business more like theirs and less like your own. Certainly, there are certain technologies that every business should implement but, less really is more. Think about how each piece of technology – whether it’s hardware, software or a web-based service – fits with your core business objectives. Give yourself the freedom to do away with anything that’s ‘bling-like’.

Dream: Technology is a cure all. You think that more technology – in any form – is always the answer. You attempt to fix broken processes, flawed hiring practices, poor customer service, a stale brand or disjointed methodology with technology.

Reality: The best answer here is an analogy – albeit a bit crude. Technology is like deodorant – you can use it to prevent a bad, odorous situation, but you can’t use it to mask a smelly armpit.

Take some time to determine how your company’s technology dreams are taking over reality. Your business might be more ‘dream-based’ than you think.

My friend was feeling frustrated. “Amateurs,” she said. “I’m tired of dealing with amateurs.”

I knew what she meant. A professional is someone who shows up, no matter what. A professional is someone who gets the job done, no matter what. A professional is someone who does what she needs to do, when she needs to do it, no matter what. An amateur is someone who lets circumstances, other people and emotions get in the way.

As my friend put it, “When you’re a model, if you have a saggy butt, they tell you that you have a saggy butt. Then they tell you to go away. If you want it enough, you fix your saggy butt and go back.”

I grew up in the ballet world. It’s very much the same. You take class everyday with a teacher whose job it is to criticize you. The criticism is to help you improve, but some times it just feels like criticism. You dance in front of a big mirror. This is so that you can criticize yourself.

As an adolescent and even a young professional, I’ve been called “a cow” because of a few extra pounds. I’ve had teachers hit an errant arm or leg with a stick because that arm or leg was in the wrong position. (No, they weren’t singling me out, they hit everyone.) I’ve lost dance jobs because I was too tall, too short, or had the wrong color hair. Those of you who read my book, Cold Calling for Women, know that as a teenager I was not accepted into the renowned Harkness Ballet School because my back was too long. (They told my dad I was a very good dancer, but…) When I cut my hair short (it used to be down to my waist so that I could put it up in a classical ballet bun) I never again, got another job as a ballet dancer. And by the way, when you go to a dance audition they don’t let you dance. They simply line you up and look at you and then start eliminating dancers. Once they’re done eliminating, the dancers that are left get to actually dance.

When I first started doing sales training and clients would talk to me about rejection and fear of rejection I had no idea what they were talking about. As the years have gone by and I’ve worked with more and more clients I do understand that those feelings are real.

Sales can be a tough world. Everyone will not love you or your product or service. Everyone will not say “yes.” Sometimes in sales training brochures or on our web sites we get carried away and write, “Overcome every objection!” “Turn every ‘no’ into ‘yes!’” The stark reality is that will not happen every time. Some prospects will say “no.” A career in sales is not for the weak.

The key to success is what you do with that “no.” You can allow it to stop you, or you can put it aside and continue on. The power is entirely yours. If there are people in the world having success doing exactly what you want to be doing, there is no reason that you cannot do it too.

Being a professional starts with your mind set, that you believe in what you are selling and that you do not give other people, circumstances or even your own thoughts and emotions the power to stop you. Or as my friend put it, “If you want it enough, you fix your saggy butt and go back.”

Whether your dream is of wearing a tiara and a crown or a cowboy hat or knit cap, the reality of owning a business is that you’ll ultimately wear many hats.

When I first started out, I thought I’d be coaching a few clients from home over the phone. The reality is that most people want to meet you to get to know you, so I put my networking hat on and went out and started selling myself and my business at leads groups.

Next, my business started to rapidly build. Clients asked for more things. Would you be able to conduct a workshop with me and some of my colleagues? Would you be able to do a weekend retreat on Cape Cod? How about a workshop in Israel? So, I put on new hats…my travel hat, my trainer hat, my event planning hat, and my organizational hat. Many of my clients are either artists or have a creative interest of some sort. They began asking me if I could help them create sales of their artwork, so I put my on-line marketing hat on and my gallery owner hat on. Pretty soon, my head was running out of room for so many hats!

Well, then the money started rolling in. I then put on my accounting hat and my legal hat and my tax hat and my administrative hat.

The dream of being a successful business owner was working, but the reality was that I was saying yes to everything and really needed to define what I did and didn’t want to do. So, now, I sometimes wear no hat at all.

I also encourage my clients to approach their dreams with conscious steps. I truly believe that it isn’t the fear of failure that holds us back, it is the fear of our success. The reality is that we’re more powerful than our wildest dreams. I truly hope that you get to wear each and every hat you want to wear.

OK – so let’s get real. Owning a business is a 24/7 thing. Running a business involves so much more than baking the best cookies, slapping your name on a business card, or getting out to some networking events.

For many newbies, the prospect of the finding their own version of Prince Charming (a better lifestyle, more free time and the big paycheck) is what keeps them going.

Unfortunately I see all too many women working too hard at pursuing their dream, without knowing how they are going to get to the ball. So how can you crack the “Cinderella Code”?

Here’s the secret (which I’ve learned from my own experiences and from lots of very successful women business owners)…

Do your homework. After you get over the initial flush of a brilliant idea – test it. Go online. See who else may be pursuing the same dream in your neighborhood, and across the country. Ask questions, lots of them. Being well-informed is a magical experience!

Make a business plan. If you don’t have enough funds to hire someone to help you with this, take out some books from the library or download freebies you can find on the net. Have a Plan B and a Plan C.

Create a sensible budget. This is where most people’s dreams fizzle out, because they sorta wing it. Don’t! You need to have a crystal clear vision of EVERYTHING you need to get your business off to a strong start, that will sustain you for at least a year ( most businesses “turn the corner” after 2-3 years) .

Realize you are not the Queen of Everything, yet. Focus on what you do best and outsource the rest (this should include a web master, graphic designer, copywriter, and printing company to get started).

Get your gown on. Most women wouldn’t consider going to a meeting without the appropriate business attire, so make sure the face of your company shines! Instead of dreaming about a happy ending, producing terrific (uniquely designed) materials will help make your firm out sparkle your competition (which is always a good thing!)

Seek out your own Fairy Godmother. Forget the carriage and four horses – mentors are the folks who can help you get to the ball. Go to some networking venues, choose organizations where you feel welcomed and supported ( NAWBO, EWomensNetwork, your local Chamber of Commerce). The great thing about being in business today, is that you don’t have to look too far to find fabulous, generous women (and men), who are willing to offer you advice, resources and direction on a range of critical business issues. Sometimes all you have to do is ask.

So, go ahead, revel in your entrepreneurial dreams! But make sure your reverie won’t turn into a pumpkin. Don’t wait around for Prince Charming to find you – do your own homework to find the path to the castle. Pursue something you feel completely passionate about, because it will be your life 365 days a year (even as you run your toddler to a play date, or spend an extra long lunch with friends). Work with real professionals, who can deliver a range of deliverables that will propel your efforts. You CAN crack the “Cinderella Code” and arrive at your fairy tale ending by making sure your feet are firmly planted in reality (not fantasy glass slippers!).

Reality, starting and running an online business is not a part-time job. If you are dreaming of making money in your sleep then that’s also where you’ll be spending your profits – in dreamland. The reality is that eCommerce web sites are hard work. Let’s look at the real items that you need to recognize:

1. Researching the success of your product online
2. Building a secure ecommerce web site that appeals to your audience
3. Updating and maintaining your web site
4. Customer satisfaction and growth
5. Marketing Your Site – Being found online

Start by first researching your product, and then finding other individuals who have an online store that you see as successful. Small business owners like to help each other through associations and networking groups. Reach out for help, and ask the questions you really need to know about how to succeed:

* How long did your web site take to develop?
* Were there any hidden roadblocks you did not know existed then, and that you understand now?
* How much of a budget did you plan for to market your web site?
* How long was it before you really experienced steady traffic and sales?
* What made the biggest difference in the success of your web site?

The reality of creating and marketing any web site is that it takes time to reach your goals. Be realistic about your plan and take the time to find the answers to the questions you have and the questions you did not even know existed.

I personally see businesses fail online because of 2 key items.

One, web site owners don’t listen. They need to listen to their customers what they want, how they like to shop and their concerns about what your online store policies are. Listening extends further than just your customers. It also extends to your web developer or consultant. If you hire an expert to help you create and grow an online business, then you need to listen to their advice. Otherwise you are wasting your money.

Two, business owners fail because they have no budget for marketing. A web site needs to be marketed and it needs to be done by planning and understanding your customer and where they spend time looking for businesses just like yours.

The key ingredient to succeeding online is planning and these items will help you understand what needs to be incorporated into your plan. Starting with these key ingredients, reality will help you reach your dream of success online.

As adults, we certainly are not encouraged to do it. We are taught to believe that if we want to make it in life we need to be focused, driven, and yes, practical.

And even as children arrive in school they are snapped back into reality with comments like, “Davey, pay attention. Stop looking out the window and daydreaming,” or “Daydreaming won’t help you pass the test, Susie. You need to study!”

Unfortunately, once we hit adulthood these beliefs about dreaming becomes entrenched within many of us. Daydreaming becomes as foreign to us as summers off and playing jump rope.

Yet, the people who actually make their ideas of owning their own business come to life are those who have a healthy mix of dreaming and practical planning.

Starting your own business is a serious endeavor. But where do you think the seeds of your business will come from?

They come from you—from your ideas, your desires, and your passions. They come from your dreams.

When you indulge yourself and actually dream of the “whatifs” about starting your business you are letting yourself design what that business will look like and what it will be about.

Your dreaming then becomes the fuel for action. You put yourself in a position of figuring out HOW to make your new business ideas a reality. You plant the seeds now that will help you to discover what it’s practically going to take for you to leave your job and be self-employed.

When your dreams are big enough they act like a magnet and pull you forward. This magnet makes it easier for you to answer the practical business questions:

* What will this business be about?
* How will it make money?
* What is it going to take to make it profitable?
* What resources does it need?

Your dreams become the driving force propelling you and your business forward.

Here is another way of looking at it. In fact, print these “formulas” out and post them where you can see them:

Dreams + Action = Momentum

Momentum + Persistence + Consistency = Progress…or in other words, a Viable Business

Stay in balance. You want to leave your job and start a business? Have you been dreaming enough about it? Have you spent the time envisioning as much detail as you can?

Make sure you have, because if not, you may find it close to impossible to come up with the nuts and bolts of making it a real, viable, and sustainable business.

You Have to Take the Lead When Meeting New Prospects
Sometimes trying to connect with someone who communicates differently is like two ships passing in the night. We don’t understand them, and they don’t understand us.

To communicate effectively, you need to be the first one who is ready to alter the way you connect. Once I was in France and was trying to speak with a shopkeeper. I thought that if I spoke louder and more slowly in English, she would understand me. Of course, there was no way she could. The louder and more slowly I talked, the more frustrating it was for both of us. I needed to alter my style (talking at a regular volume in English) and try something else she could understand, such as pointing, gesturing, and smiling.

The frustration I felt before I altered my style is exactly the same feeling we have when we do not connect with a prospect or client. We may be in our own country and speaking the same language, yet our communication styles are so different that we have a hard time making a connection. We need to understand and adapt our style to communicate effectively. I am a bottom-line person. Often I see the big picture first and then find a way to go for it.

Think about how you like to give and get information. What is your preferred communication style? How has your boss, various co-workers, or even your spouse reacted to your style? Has more than one person said that you are clear, sometime confusing, too soft spoken or aggressive? If you have ever been frustrated trying to communicate something when the other person “just didn’t get it”, could it be something you are doing? Determining where you need to adapt requires discovering the other person’s style. Keep in mind, people won’t tell you their style. You have to learn by observation.

Recognizing Personality Types
In addition to being aware of your own communication style, a good business professional adjusts to other people’s style. Some people are more sensitive to the concerns and feeling of others; others are more bottom line or results-oriented. Still others are interested in and concerned with details and the way things work. Sometimes there is a combination of all.

There are ways to identify personality and temperamental categories that predict how people react and relate to each other. One personality style indicator used by many companies is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. I also use the DISC. profile, which explores behavioral issues. It is an effective tool for understanding personality traits and styles. However, most interactions won’t give you the luxury of such elaborate tests. Therefore, a shortcut is to be a careful listener and observe behaviors (mostly body language). Like anything else, this takes practice.

For example, I once walked into a corporate conference room and found myself giving three different presentations at the same time! I was there to present a training proposal to three top level executives in the company. Having met them all and through careful observation and listening, I knew each had a very different personality style. My main goal (besides selling my program) was to speak to their needs and convey the benefits to each one. Therefore, I needed to adjust my presentation to each one individually. As I spoke with each one, I switched the way I conveyed the information I was giving to match his or her personality. Here’s how I improved my sales presentation with those three very different personality types.

The head of human resources and training was amiable in her approach. I made a mental note of her comment about “getting everyone involved” and her obvious concern for all the employees. Clearly, I had to focus my presentation to her on the personal benefits for her employees. I made sure she felt that the time her employees spent in training would be worthwhile for their growth and development.

The chief financial officer, however, was interested in the return on investment he expected from my program. In addition, he wanted details and numbers. I decided to give him the same proposal that I had given to the head of human resources, however I had a specific outline for each module, with costs clearly defined. The more data I presented to him, the better!

The CEO told me he had only six minutes to hear me out. (I actually clocked how long he was in the room, and it was exactly six minutes!) All he wanted to know was, “What are my people going to learn?” and “How much will it cost?” I was prepared with the same presentation (in case he had questions), and I gave him only the executive summary: a brief, succinct paragraph followed by bullet points and the bottom line.

These were three very different people all wanting the same thing yet needing it delivered in three very different ways. To succeed, I had to read and relate to each person differently.

Later, after I had done several programs with this firm, each person told me separately how much he or she enjoyed our working relationship because, “we communicate in exactly the same way.” I smiled to myself, knowing that my extra work and effort to understand each personality type was well worth it!

Traits of Common Personality Types
(based on the DISC. personality indicator system)

Dominant:
Bottom line-oriented, competitive, direct
Makes decisions quickly
Best approach to use:

* Focus on the “what”
* Be efficient

Influencer:
Persuasive, animated, expressive, emotional
Enjoys helping others
Best approach to use:

* Focus on the “who”
* Be empathetic

Steady:
Patient, agreeable, amiable, quiet
Is very dependable
Best approach to use:

* Focus on the “how”
* Be supportive

Conscientious:
Compliant, cautious, accurate, analytical
Likes lots of details
Best approach to use:

* Focus on the “why”
* Be logical

Not a Chameleon
As a business professional, you have no control whether your prospects or clients will be a “Mother Teresa” or a “King Kong.” If you simply mimic the other person’s style you will come across as manipulative and insincere. My advice does not advocate constantly changing your personality. Rather, I’m recommending a positive, sincere, and proactive approach to understanding anyone’s feelings and traits. You want to appear empathetic not opportunistic. The dictionary definition of empathy is “the action or understanding, being aware of… the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another…” Therefore, to become empathetic, be aware of communication styles and personality types.

But goals are sometimes difficult to attain. (We all know that familiar feeling of not moving forward on a goal, and the ensuing voice that says – “What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you get that done?!?). And other times, goals don’t feel satisfying once we accomplish them.

Perhaps that’s because we often make our goals things we have to get done, instead of things we want to get done – in other words, our goals are very often not associated with our dreams and our heart’s desires. However, there is no excitement, motivation or passion in a “have to”. There is nothing compelling about a “have to”.

For example: When you set the goal to become partner in the family business, did that come from a true, passionate place inside of you? Or, did that goal emerge from the expectations that your family had of you? You know it’s a “have to” goal if it feels heavy, and tough to start. On the other hand, compelling goals – or dreams – usually make our heart sing; we feel excited, energized, and ready to take steps right away.

Perhaps if we could shift our ideas of goals from obligations into wishes – into dreams, limitless possibilities for ourselves and the world – we would have a much better chance of achieving our goals because we would be energized, inspired and compelled to do so ALL along the way.

The best way I have learned to dream up new futures and exciting possibilities is by setting aside my fears (fears of not being successful, not having enough time, not having enough money, on and on) and asking myself what my heart truly desires. So often, our fears prevent us from even recognizing what it is we really want. So, just for a moment, let go of the nay-saying voice inside of you, and dream big. When I say “dream BIG”, I mean – if you’re an artist, don’t just see yourself at the local gallery, see yourself at the MOMA; if you have a dream to help women, start a national not-for-profit; if you want to make $150K per year, set your sights on $300K per year.

Perhaps after that, you might re-adjust your wish so that it becomes realistic within the resources you have. Or perhaps – it doesn’t need any re-adjusting at all.

And then you’ll have a dream that’s not only compelling and worth pursuing, but that will feel satisfying and great once you achieve it.

Some Questions to Help Uncover Your Dreams:

1. What goals or priorities in your life right now are “have to”s, obligations, or expectations of others?

2. What goals or priorities in your life right now drain your energy, leaving you tired or upset?

3. Take a moment and put aside fears about time and money. In your wildest dreams, what do you want to accomplish in your life?

4. Again, put aside fears about time and money for a moment. What’s something that you want to do, that you haven’t even fully admitted to yourself?