As a business owner with two businesses: writing and life coaching, my list of things to do and follow up on has increased. Marketing, selling, and managing two businesses have to be balanced with taking care of my home and personal life. Where do I draw the line when taking the time to call a friend may mean less time for me to write an article? How do I get myself to focus on chores when I would much rather be working on an outline for my book? Not to mention the times I’ve turned on my laptop before I’ve had my morning coffee only to look up and find that it’s already time for lunch.

There has to be a negotiation between the business side and the personal side. Yes, they are both part of one person, but they probably don’t have the same priorities. Devoting ourselves solely to our businesses means that a very large part of our lives is being left out. Sometimes feeling just as burned out as I felt when I was in my corporate job. While I know that working for myself often means long hours, when it starts feeling like “work” then I know I’ve gone too far.

Returning to my center and negotiating between the business work and the personal life is not easy. Some personal things on my “to do” list – like laundry and housecleaning – are not exactly exciting. I’d much rather be writing or working with a client. However, the chores (and the fun) are a part of life and to neglect them because I’m only focused on the business will throw everything out of balance.

What are some ways to negotiate through business and personal needs?

• Set a time to start and stop working.
• Have time that is strictly family time or friend time.
• Schedule appointments on your calendar for things like going to the gym or getting a manicure.
• Determine your best work times during the day. When are you the most productive? Use those hours for business. Perhaps less productive times can be saved for chores or simply relaxing.
• Don’t work endless hours believing that once you’ve made a certain dollar amount, you’ll slow down. You won’t. Start now and build the foundation for balancing your business and personal life.
• Make your family and friends partners in your success. Let them know that you’ll still have time for them and set aside that time.

It’s exciting to have your own business, but don’t neglect the other parts of your life. Success isn’t just about a dollar amount or how many business you build – it’s about enjoying your success in all parts of your life. Take the time to make the negotiations between, around and through the challenges so that you can create the life of your dreams.

I am truly grateful to have the flexibility to have it all, yet I often find that a home-based business and kids don’t go together all that well. The reality is that when my kids are home they linger around the computer begging me to stop checking my email and to instead take them to their favorite website. Alternatively, when I’m busy working on a client project and my babysitter has an emergency, I have to rearrange my whole work schedule to accommodate taking care of them. I find I have to stay very, very flexible.

I am frequently jealous that my husband gets two 40-minute train rides every day to transition into his work day and to unwind at the end of it, while I have to shift gears on the fly many times a day (and that my work never really ends). After the kids go to bed I have at least two more hours of work returning emails, doing evening coaching appointments, and handling administrative tasks.

After years of balancing work and family, here are some of the strategies I’ve implemented to try and achieve more balance in my life:

* I have wonderful childcare outside of my home — my sitter takes the children from school to their various activities and back to her house until I pick them up at 5:15pm.

* When they are home with me, I have given my children their own work spaces in my office with art supplies and their favorite projects so that we can all be working together and no one feels left out.

* I try to meditate for 20 minutes every day because I find that I am mentally clearer and more relaxed overall about everything when I make the time for this.

* I have weekly support phone calls with other home-based entrepreneurs during which we discuss each other’s challenging business hurdles and help one another from feeling too isolated.

* While I often check emails on the weekend, I don’t return them until Monday. If I did, I’d be working 24/7 and I simply need a break from work on the weekends.

* I have learned to say “no” more to the “shoulds” in my life. While I used to have the time to volunteer or to help out more at the kids’ schools, I found that the whole family suffers when I over-commit.

You may have noticed that exercise is not on the above list although I’d certainly like it to be. There is a coaching adage — “we have time for what we make time for” — and as I enter my 6th year of my own business, I am finding that it is a critical adage to live by if I want to do it all. I’d love to hear from you about how you balance work and family and I’ll try to include your tips in upcoming articles.