Now, I don’t mean sacrifice in that you:

• work with clients who are not ideal
• accept sub-standard work from your team
• charge less for your services

No, I don’t mean sacrifice in the damn-do-I-have-to-short-change-myself-again?? sense of the word. I mean it’s important that we, as entrepreneurs, get an opportunity to regularly practice the humility of making a sacrifice in our lives — personal and professional.

There is no honor in being inflexible. There is no gain in being unyielding.

When my father retired, he was a well-known union executive and is revered as possibly one of the best union negotiators. He was tough when he had to be, but was always fair. He always told me that in order for a negotiation to be a good negotiation, everyone must sacrifice something. Everyone.

Sometimes we negotiate with ourselves. We know we need to put the business to the side and get a 9-5 job (for a little while) so we can make ends meet, but we don’t because our pride won’t let us. Pride is the ultimate stiffener. The business we’ve built doesn’t have the right business model and instead of changing, we hold on to what doesn’t work. We’re rigid. We didn’t anticipate this marketing plan being so tough to execute and instead of going balls-to-the-wall and getting it done, we quit under the guise that “marketing doesn’t work”.

When we come from a posture of humility, we are an open vessel waiting to be used for good. Open to see things in a new way, because we don’t think we know it all. When we are open, more opportunities flow to us because we have not adopted the posture of being closed. When we are open, clients want to work with us because we can put our egos aside and do what’s best for them and their situation with the knowledge that when we do what’s truly best for our ideal clients, we’re ultimately doing what’s best for our business, too.

Being willing to forego something sends a subtle message to the Universe, to others and to yourself that you don’t feel you have to have everything you want. Things need not go your way 100% of the time for you to be content and fulfilled.

My mentor of 15 years, always says the same thing to me when I come to him for advice: “Are you willing to walk away?” He doesn’t mean am I willing to pack up my toys and go home and never play with the other party again, just am I willing to sacrifice this opportunity…am I willing to let it go. The minute I tell him I’m willing to make the sacrifice, then he can help me craft an approach wherein I feel good no matter the outcome. But, on the off chance that I’m too close and I’m unwilling to walk away, there’s not much room for him to help me, because I’m holding on too tightly.

If you’re willing to be honest, there is something right now in your business of which you need to let go. It’s not something you WANT to release, but it’s something that needs to go so that something else that you really want to happen will happen.

Oprah said it best: “You can have it all. Just not all at the same time.”

Will you sacrifice today?

Why We Become Disillusioned
Social media is a flexible and customizable medium for businesses to leverage, but it’s been the unfortunate subject of mainstream media hype. I’m sure you’ve read stories of businesses achieving seemingly overnight success via MySpace or some other social media tool, but social media isn’t flat-out magic. “No one really sees the 90 percent that you put into your social media efforts,” says Scott Ginsberg of HELLOmynameisSCOTT. “They only see the 10 percent—the results.”

Ginsberg should know. He started his blog, HELLOmynameisBLOG, in October 2004, and for the first six months, he had hardly any comments or feedback. But he persevered and in August 2005, one blog post led to an invitation to speak at a marketing conference, which helped him meet more than a dozen new clients—and get a $100,000 contract. Now that’s ROI.

Unfortunately many companies don’t persevere. One study, from the book Naked Conversations, showed that about one out of three blogs are abandoned within a year. “Social media has created an ADD-like generation of people who don’t want to wait for the return,” says Ginsberg. “There’s a lie being spread that tells people to work smart, not hard. Working smart is possible when you’ve built your business up, but initially you have to work hard and long.”

Between the ultra-hyped stories of social media coups and the declining focus on the overall investment, it’s very easy to see why entrepreneurs become confused and impatient. To avoid disillusionment, it’s vital to consider the two elements of ROI— the return and the investment.

The Return
The return is what you hope to gain from social media, both in dollars and intangibles, like increased speaking engagements, better conversations with target markets, more fruitful connections, increased revenues, increased visibility and buzz.

Taking the time to determine what you’d like to gain from social media before delving in could keep you focused while ramping up sales. Once you’ve set goals for your return, the next question is: What are you willing to invest to generate those results?

The Investment
In the same way that currency is not solely monetary, neither is your investment. You should consider what kind of energy, organizational staff and other resources you’re willing to invest to get the desired return. Lest it be forgotten, a good portion of your investment is also your message—having something unique and interesting to say about what’s going on in your industry instead of rehashing the same material over and over.

But what if you don’t have the resources necessary to make a strong investment?

No Resources + Substantial Expected Results = Major Let Down
Recently, a client came to us because they wanted to start using social media to increase their thought leadership and generate more speaking opportunities for their CEO, but they didn’t want to invest a lot of money or time. Our response was, “If you don’t have access to resources that you can leverage to make this project a success, then we suggest that you buy an ad in a trade publication and call it a day.”

One of the golden rules of social media is: If you don’t have time, you need money or other additional resources; if you have no money, you need to have time and energy. You can’t be strapped for both cash and time and expect a grand result. That just isn’t realistic.

Clarity.

Sounding board.

Course-correction.

Forecasting.

Business models.

Over the years, I’ve had the good fortune of benefiting from the advice and guidance of some of the best business minds I’ve ever encountered and the outcomes on the above list are just some of the results I’ve realized while working with these extraordinary people.

It goes without saying that I hold these people in the highest regard. And, because they advise me, for some reason, I never once saw myself as “being in their league”, until after my business coach challenged me during a recent conversation.

Imagine my surprise, when my coach suggested that *I* take on a mentor role with my clients in addition to the consulting role I take on. Gasp!

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve always seen myself as a leader, for sure, but a mentor? Whoa, that’s a whole other ballpark.

And, then my coach asked me a series of questions that irreversibly changed the way I look at my business…and the world.

She asked:

• “Do you believe that what you do is valuable to your clients?”
• “Do you offer them the best social media insights they can find?”
• “Do you believe you have many, many more people to serve in big ways?”

To every question, I answered, “Yes!”

And, then she asked the ultimate question:

“Wouldn’t it be a shame then, if, because you couldn’t envision yourself playing a larger role in your clients lives, they didn’t get the expertise you know they need to grow their businesses?”

Point taken; enough said. Later that week I finalized the outline for my 2011 legacy project, the Authentic Influencer Braintrust. It’s a year-long, multi-tiered group consulting program that ensures that no matter what someone’s budget is, they have access to my teachings and insights. And, part of launching this program means me stepping into and accepting my role as mentor (gasp!) to the business owners (my students!) who join this program and graduate from level to level.

And, with that, I’ll ask you, are you ready to be a mentor to your clients instead of simply a coach/consultant/trainer/insert-your-title-here? If so, what do you need to do to step your game up?

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Lena L. West is the CEO of xynoMedia http://www.xynoMedia.com a company that helps growing companies profit from the power of social media & the Internet.

We may be worried that people will not appreciate the changes we’re going to make or accept the direction we’re going to take. Whatever the scenario, it can help to be able to dip your toe in the water first and social media can help you do that.

Let’s say you want to launch a new product – an e-book with accompanying audio. You can, before you put too much work into the idea, write a blog post about the idea and ask your readers to weigh in with their thoughts on the product’s validity, relevancy and proposed price point.

If you don’t want to do that, you can write a blog post about the topic you plan to cover in the e-book and see what the response is. Remember to not just look at the comments you get, but see how many times your blog post is tweeted and retweeted on Twitter and see if people are sharing it on Facebook, too.

Once you see that there’s support for your project, you can get your reader and social media fans and followers to help you complete the project by asking them what kinds of content they’d like to see in your new product and even sharing sample passages with them from your new “baby”.

But suppose the reason you’re making the change isn’t an easy one? Don’t forget, the people who read your blog, listen to your podcast, become fans of your Facebook Fan Page, follow you on Twitter and watch your videos, are just that – people. They’ve had hardships, too. That’s the thing about social media, you can keep it real and people will love you more.

Provided that you feel comfortable and resonate with doing so, open the kimono a bit. Dare to share. You will find support from people and places you never dreamed and it might be just the support you need to make your next bold move.

And, just in case you get cold feet, think about Stella Osorojos. This writer changed her first name to something that meant something to her spiritually and she blogged about it. Now that’s brave!

Go for it!

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Lena L. West is the CEO of xynoMedia http://www.xynoMedia.com a company that helps growing companies profit from the power of social media & the Internet.

Ingrid wrote me a note to tell me how disappointed she was in the results she was getting from her blog (she had only been blogging for two months, by the way). She was wondering whether it was worth the time she was spending writing.

Ingrid is a well-respected expert in her industry. She’s got great content. She writes well. And, she’s got an exciting way of communicating her thoughts.

So, what’s wrong? A few things…the first of which is: Ingrid wasn’t practicing “The Reciprocity Rule”.

Before we started working with Ingrid, I informed her that launching a blog isn’t just about writing content.

The whole social media movement is built upon the premise of reciprocity – something I call “The Reciprocity Rule”. “The Reciprocity Rule” is, admittedly, a rip off of The Golden Rule.

What does everyone want for their blog?

* They want people to link to their blog posts – especially the ones that are interesting and generate good conversation.

* They want people to comment – and comment thoughtfully.

* They want people to “favorite” their content and add links to it on social bookmarking sites.

“The Reciprocity Rule” says that you do for others what you would want them to do for you. Simple.

If you want people to make intelligent comments on your blog; take the time to leave intelligent (not self-serving) comments on someone else’s blog. A good rule of thumb is, for every five posts on your own blog, you should be posting one comment on someone else’s blog.

If you want people to “digg” your content, “digg” someone else’s content. Take a moment each week to shine a light on someone else besides youself. My most remarkable week on Twitter (in terms of increased followers and people re-tweeting my tweets) was when I linked to a bunch of content written by other people.

Lather, rinse, repeat. And, expect to repeat this for some time. Most blogs don’t get comments for months. Many times your readers will email you before they comment. You’ll have to train (read: ask) them to put those same email comments into a comment on your blog. It takes time. It’s simple, but it’s not easy.

Now, getting back to Ingrid. When we first started talking about working with her, I informed her that she was going to need to devote time to celebrating content that other experts in different-yet-related industries would post. She agreed; almost too quickly.

Not even two months later, she’s unhappy with the results of her blogging experience. I went back through the notes of our conversation where we identified some good blogs for her to post comments. I asked if she had written one comment. “No,” she replied. I went back to look at her blog posts. Not one of them contained links to anyone else’s content. “Oh,” she stammered. I logged into her “digg” account and she hadn’t “dugg” anyone else’s blog posts — and, that’s when someone cued the crickets.

Creating a successful blog is possible, but it takes more than you and your content. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “give to get”? With social media, you’ve gotta “give to give”. Just for the heck of it – and like any good relationship, it’ll come back to you. I promise.

Are you willing to come from behind your own content and publicly appreciate someone else’s? The extent to which you can do this is the extent to which you will be successful with social media.

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Lena L. West is the CEO of xynoMedia http://www.xynoMedia.com a company that helps growing companies profit from the power of social media & the Internet.

Case in point, a couple of years ago – with very few exceptions – I stopped speaking for free. No ego; there just comes a point in your career where you have to take things to the next level. What’s more, if you charge one organization a speaker’s fee and then don’t charge a similar organization (word gets around), you lose cool points and integrity.

In the past few weeks, I’ve received a couple of speaking requests from organizations that for whatever reason (economy, etc.), have decided they would love to have me speak, but could not do so due to lack of funding.

What bugs me most is not that the organizations don’t have the money, but that they don’t bother to offer other forms of currency. If you’re reading this, and you’d like to bring in a speaker whom you don’t think you can afford, here are a few things you can offer a speaker that might make up for your lack of cash flow (it doesn’t mean they’ll accept it, but you can try):

• BORS (Back of the Room Sales) – this means information product sales and book signings and sales
• Opted-in attendee list complete with email addresses (ethical speakers know better than to spam your list)
• Fee-based laser consulting/”hot seat” sessions – this sets the stage for possible new client scenarios
• Key meeting set-up – if your members fit in the target market for the speaker (which they should), why not offer to set up a few one-on-one meetings for them while they’re in town? This could also lead to a potential client scenario.
• Arrange for media coverage – if you can’t pay me, at least help secure media coverage and a one-on-one interview for the event.

I’m sure there are many other ways to compensate speakers. The main point is, there’s more than one way to “pay” a qualified speaker and if you know your budget is tight, plan on offering one or more of the above options to help sweeten the pot so you can pay for what you NEED.

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Lena L. West is the CEO of xynoMedia http://www.xynoMedia.com a company that helps growing companies profit from the power of social media & the Internet.

This is not based on some “shrink it and pink it” mentality that I’ve adopted. This idea comes from YEARS of working with (for the most part) only women business owners — and actually BEING a woman business owner myself. Call it generalizing or gender-based stereotypes (or any other politically correct label you want to give it), but women think differently and we LEARN differently. Period. I’ve seen it every single day for the past 13 years I’ve been self-employed.

Women invented social media. After all, who recommends more products and services than women? No one. If we’re the originators of “word of mouth”, shouldn’t our businesses benefit from it?

Here are a few reasons why women need to approach social media usage differently:

• Women don’t have time (or the inclination) to “poke around” or “figure it out”. We’re not crazy. We recognize the value of social media, but we need to use marketing tools that get a measurable amount of progress in a reasonable amount of time.
• From a time management perspective alone, women need to do the right things, at the right times for the right reasons to get the right results. No matter how much we’ve ‘evolved’, women are still responsible for the bulk of child and family care. We have friendships to maintain, lives to shape and lead and oh, there’s that minor matter of personal time.
• Social media lends itself to the way women naturally communicate and share ideas. Historically, most storytellers are women. Women exchange “secrets” to build trust, not men; and these nuances carry through online. (The good news is you get to define whether a “secret” is something marginally personal or soul-baring.)

So, I got sick and tired of reading blogs written by guys (and gals, but mostly guys) giving advice like:

• “Just jump in and get your feet wet.”
• “Send a note to your friends and connect.”
• “Just create a Twitter account – it’s free and easy.”
• “Find people to follow on Twitter and then talk to them.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time to do stuff to “get my feet wet”. I want to know what the hell I’m doing right from Jump Street and if I can’t know that, I ain’t doing it. I also have NO desire to connect with my pals and family on Facebook. This is BUSINESS, not some crazy chips and dip get together. And, if you create the account, what then?? How do you know who the right people to follow on Twitter are? How do you talk to them? All of this advice is so GENERAL and AMBIGUOUS that it makes me ill.

After getting tired of ranting about the problem (and because I’m someone that doesn’t like people to complain without offering a solution), I started the Real Women Do Social Media Revolution – that kicked off this month with the Real Women Do Social Media Program. (You can click the link to visit that website to read all about the event that’s kicking off the revolution.)

Here’s what I know for sure: One-size-fits-all only works for baseball caps and t-shirts. Just as women need to examine their finances differently and we tolerate medicine differently, when we understand that if we approach social media differently, we’ll have much better results than using one-size-fits-all-guy-centric methods.

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Lena L. West is the CEO of xynoMedia http://www.xynoMedia.com a company that helps growing companies profit from the power of social media & the Internet.

There are loads of adages to help you commemorate the exact moment when things go left, but if you’re anything like me, you’d rather focus on the best, most effective way to get out of the mess you’ve found yourself in.

A portion of the title of this article is a bit misleading. Social media doesn’t fail people, people fail people; and many times people fail themselves because their expectations are skewed. Additionally, because most people are not social media “experts”, they’re not quite sure what it takes to extract themselves from certain situations and it’s at that point it becomes really convenient and easy to hang the blame on social media. Does, “I hate Facebook!” sound familiar?

To help you avoid that blame-infused scenario, here are some solutions to common sticking points to help you get back on track if you feel like you’re not getting the results you want from your social media activities.

1. Are you clear about why you’re using social media? This is the source of many, many problems. People just start using Twitter or Facebook…or they just start blogging and the end-game isn’t clear. Once you determine where you’d like to go, the exact action steps will stand out from the fray a bit; making your next step less dubious.
2. Are you being consistent? You get out what you put in. If you’re not blogging at least three times a week and using some sort of viral vehicle to connect with other people, you shouldn’t expect any results at all. Yes, three times per week. The average blog post is 250-300 words. You needn’t write a tome. If you don’t have 900 words of advice or insight to offer about your business over the course of a week, then you should consider another line of work. Yes, I said it.
3.  Are you connecting? I mean, really connecting? Are you taking time out of your schedule at least twice a week to pop into Twitter or Facebook and “show your face”. It doesn’t have to be for hours, but take the time to connect. People do business with people they like. And, if you say you don’t have time, then don’t expect results. That’s a simple solution.
4. Do you genuinely like your social media activities? If you don’t like to blog, stop doing it. Do something else. There are hundreds of social media activities you could be doing and some you’ll probably like. I don’t care what anyone says, when you don’t like what you’re doing, it comes through in the end product.
5. Are you organized, on-purpose and focused? If you’re not getting results, it might be because you’re all over the place. One minute you’re on Facebook and the next minute you’re tweeting. Social media connections should be authentic (there’s that word again!) but the use of the tools should be nothing short of methodical, pre-meditated and laser – especially if you’re a woman business owner – you just don’t have time to waste.

Take some time to sit down and get real with yourself about whether your expectations are in alignment with your efforts and approach, then adjust what isn’t working in a way that resonates with you.

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Lena L. West is the CEO of xynoMedia http://www.xynoMedia.com a company that helps growing companies profit from the power of social media & the Internet.

Here they are Letterman-style:

10. Develop a social media “schedule” and stick with it. It’s easy to get caught up in reading interesting blog posts or playing Mafia Wars on Facebook. Figure out your on and off days and stick with it no matter what your friends say. If I can do this and I’m a social media strategist, you can do it. You’ll thank me later.

9. Building on the previous point…If you aren’t using any form of social media yet and you don’t have a REALLY good reason – like your hands are broken and have been for years – you need to get with the program. If Oprah and Bill Marriott can get their organizations to commit to social media, you can get it going, too. Go ugly early!

8. Kill the braggathon. There are many, many ways to toot your own horn without bragging. If you don’t know how, Google “Twitter without bragging”. Learn them and use them wisely.

7. Don’t get over-zealous in your sharing. Recently someone posted some information about a call they had scheduled with me on Twitter. It was no big deal, but be careful. Don’t inadvertently put someone on blast with your social networking updates. Avoid the Noid.

6. Chances are if you’re boring offline, you’ll be boring online. Dig deep, find out who you are and what sets you WAY apart from the pack. Hint: Unless you’re Zappos, it ain’t your stellar commitment to customer service.

5. For those who are worried about what people might say about you once you start using social media. Two thoughts: a) they already are talking about you (gasp!) and b) To quote Dr. Seuss, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.”

4. Get a “social media birthday”. Most social networking sites ask you for your date of birth. Unless I’m trying to get into the State Dinner at the White House (whoops, can’t use that example anymore!) or you are a close family member or friend, you don’t need to know when I was born. I always give these sites the same information – January 1. You might want to as well.

3. Social media and social networking are business tools. It’s not a popularity contest. I realize this might bring up some “high school stuff” for many people. It did for me when all the people who never spoke to me in high school all of a sudden wanted to connect on Facebook. Do what I did – come to grips, do whatever you need to do and deal with it. Never allow personal crap to interfere with living your passion.

2. Be personable without being personal. People don’t have to know all about you to do business with you online, they just need to think they do. This is not about being inauthentic, it’s about keeping your personal life…well…personal.

1. If you’re a woman, you need to approach social media differently than a man. So dispense with the winking emoticons in your Facebook and Twitter messages to men. Stop changing your Facebook picture every other day. Quit talking about your boyfriend or other S.O. in every blog post. People don’t care and it’s tacky. Don’t shoot the messenger.

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Lena L. West is the CEO of xynoMedia http://www.xynoMedia.com a company that helps growing companies profit from the power of social media & the Internet.

They think that because social media and social networking tools are so easy to use AND because so many “experts” are telling them to “get their feet wet” and “just get started”, that they fall headlong into trouble. They start to get poor results (if any results at all), they don’t get the feedback they’re seeking, they waste oodles of time and then their story changes to, “social media doesn’t work”.

Here’s what’s at the root of that problem: I call it “social media haystacking”.

Social media haystacking is the process of adding social media activities to an already full schedule and then beginning to slowly, but surely, resent social media as yet “another thing you have to do”. Women entrepreneurs are particularly susceptible to this pitfall because we usually have 90 other things we already “have to” do!

Think, for a moment, about a haystack and its formation; or consider a pile of objects. When that pile gets too high, what happens? Whatever is on top falls off. Whatever was added last falls off — and if social media is the thing that you’ve added last to your “to do” pile, what do you think is the first thing to come tumbling down? Yes. Social media.

The solution to haystacking is simple. Before you start using social media, take a look at your marketing mix – the handful of activities you’re doing to market your company. I can guarantee you that something isn’t working. It might be direct mail, SEO, PPC/PPA, your email newsletter. Whatever it is, recognize it for what it is – an effort that’s not getting you the results you wanted for whatever reason. Take the time and energy you were investing into what’s NOT working and invest that time into getting started with social media activities.

It sounds simple, but it works. The best ideas usually are not complex at all.

Stop doing what’s NOT working and start doing something that has the potential to have lasting impact on both your business and your clients.

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Lena L. West is the CEO of xynoMedia http://www.xynoMedia.com a company that helps growing companies profit from the power of social media & the Internet.