First: Set a goal.  Be specific.  For example replace ‘get in shape’ with ‘go to the gym 3 times a week’ or ‘take a long walk 4 times weekly’.  Replace ‘stop eating sweets’ with ‘eat only 2 deserts per week’.   Replace ‘I can’t’ with ‘I will’ or ‘I do not want to’.  It is crucial to be very specific when talking about resolutions, building new habits, and taking care of yourself.

Second: Keep a personal calendar:

This may seem too easy, however it is the most effective way to check in and keep an eye on the ways you care for yourself.   I have done this for years.  It works.  Use a wall calendar or print out blank calendar months from your computer.  Do not write business, family or doctor’s appointments here.  Make a list of activities you enjoy, find relaxing and stimulating.  Place, hang or staple this list near your personal calendar.

Use this to record:

-All activities from your list you do

-Time with friends

-Quality time spent with your partner/ lover

-Quality time spent with you

-Quality time with family members and/ or children

-Books read for pleasure, films viewed, shows attended

If you are working on specific goals record them here, for example:

-Include times of judgment and times of personal praise

-Note days when you value your work and days when you feel you are under-performing

-Note when you go to the gym [not how long or what you did, just that you went]

-Include the number of glasses of water you drink each day

-Note your lunchtime walks

-A yoga practice

-Number of cups of coffee

-Number of cigarettes

-How many hours of sleep you get each night

Remember: This is YOUR personal practice.  Keep track of what is important to YOU!

Make sure you use a calendar that allows you to see the entire month at once.  This way you can quickly see how you are faring in your daily self-care.  This is not a place of self-punishment or cheating.  Do not think of it as a showing of what you are not doing.  Rather it is a place to practice encouragement and investigation.  Use this calendar to keep little notes for yourself.   Write down how you feel after a week of making time for loved ones, exercise and deep breathing.  Give yourself ‘pats on the back’ for weeks of self-awareness and listening when your body needed rest. 

Third:  Use your time of personal self-care ‘check-in’ to explore and examine what truly works for you.  You may find a supplemental journal becomes appropriate.  Again note what you are trying, how it makes you feel and its impact on your over-all productivity and happiness. 

Have fun taking care of you.  This is not a chore.  Build flexibility into your life. Allow your personal calendar, and perhaps journal, to be the reflection and testament to your growing awareness of who you are and how you work best.

In a culture focused on high-tech, complex solutions, this may sound over-simplified.  I often have clients cast quizzical looks when I suggest it.  However there is nothing so direct as a clear picture.  Using a paper monthly calendar gives you a clear and tangible map of where you have been and what you have been doing for you in the course of the month.  It also creates accountability to you for your self-care practice.  These are invaluable tools indeed.

Often personal value is based on the title or job you hold, your income level, and/or the level of investment you have accumulated.  These elements are all facing uncertain
futures and so the development of personal value beyond work and money is
crucial for maintaining health and personal wealth. Particularly in the current
economic climate, it is vitally important to build a practice of reducing stress in the moment.  Stress takes its toll on your emotional, physical, and mental health.  In this way stress and self-worth are related: valuing you and self-care are both based on giving yourself permission to relax and be present.

Face Stressors Head-On!

This is not a battle cry; this is in opportunity.  Stress accumulates in places of avoidance.  This means that when you try to run away from, ignore or ‘put off’ confrontation, communication, emotional situations and personal fears, you feed and exacerbate the experience of stress.  Deal with issues as they arise from a place of calm, focus and compassion. Action taken in haste [reaction] will lead to increased stress.  When faced with something you identify as a stressor: pause, let go of the story line and view the facts of the situation, unrelated to you personally.  Then refocus on how to take skillful action. Remember this method is not about ‘fixing’ others.  Take action in your life as it applies to YOU.

Live Today:

Time and energy are wasted when you focus on what might have been, what you had, and what might happen. Stress accumulates when you build a life on a projection of what might be in the future.  Live today.  If your portfolio has dropped in value, or your job is in jeopardy, take the steps you need to ensure your future.  Develop an action plan and implement it.  Spending time dwelling on ‘what if’ is frustrating and leads to feeling overwhelmed.  Apply your efforts to the things you can control.  Leave the unknown as just that: an unknown variable.

Developing Your Action Plan:

It is important to know where you are going!  Sitting by and doing nothing while the
economic alarms are sounding around you, is counter productive.  Decide what your highest priority is.  Sit down and list the steps you can take; list only steps that rely on you alone. Organize them in a way that makes sense to you.  Be gentle with yourself.

A great tool when developing an action plan is to discontinue using the word ‘stress’ when describing how you feel.  Many people have come to use the word stress
as a blanket label.  Whereas you used to identify ‘I have a project due in two
days that is frustrating me‘ now you might simply say ‘I’m stressed-out‘.  You are
robbing yourself of the facts of the matter. You are forgetting or neglecting what is ‘stressing you out’.

Write YOUR Résumé:

Often value is judged by what others want.  What do you want in your life?  Write a résumé for you, that reflects all the experiences you find worthwhile. Many personal assets may be viewed as irrelevant to your work.  Yet when unearthed through conversation, it may be the things not reflected in a résumé that ultimately land the position, client, or account.  Build an easily accessed list of ALL of your strengths and let it fuel your confidence.  You may be surprised by all the truly amazing things you have done over the course of your life.  This can help in developing a sense of personal wealth, value and pride.  Refer to and up-date your personal résumé once a month.  Remember to carry your accomplishments with you, throughout your days and weeks.

Particularly if you are an entrepreneur, you are your greatest asset: if you cannot produce, you see no ‘return on your investment’ [ROI]. ‘Investment in YOU’ should be part of every budget you create.

What goes into investing in yourself?

1) Good, Nutrient-rich Food

You must fuel your body and your brain to stay focused, productive and clear while doing business. You want to avoid the caffeine or sugar crash in the middle of meetings. The best way to do this is to ‘snack’ on protein-rich, easy to carry nuts, seeds, cheese, yogurt, etc. If you need to ‘grab’ food, eat real food, not bagels, muffins or pre-packaged snacks. Half a sandwich will get you through your afternoon and leave you satisfied, not starving, focused on work, not the next coffee.

2) Daily Relaxation

Relaxation is FREE and ACTIVE. Investing in daily relaxation simply means carving out time for: a walk, a cup of tea with a friend or loved one, an ‘open heart’ chat (not a gossip or complaining session), enjoying nature or spending time sprawled on the floor with your children, dog, cat, lover or yourself.

3) Non-Judgment

Do you spend [waist] time criticizing yourself and/or others? This is a highly draining and unproductive use of resources. Comparing business models and LEARNING from them is one thing; comparing your company’s growth with others and beating yourself up or gloating about it, is another. Time and focus are lost when we feed our insecurities with other peoples’ perceived success stories. Build your business on a foundation of non-judgment and you will thrive. When you or others do well, learn. When you or others fail, learn. Period.

4) Make You a Priority

Just as you would put off ‘other things’ for a very important client, give respect and attention to you. If you are tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, or elated and busy, make time for you. Sleep when you are tired. Ask for what you need: from loved ones [including children], friends, co-workers/ staff. Clearly communicating your needs will make EVERYTHING run more smoothly. Just as if you were organizing a meeting and dinner for an important client, organize your time / day / week to appeal to and please YOU. You will work better, feel better and be your best client, boss and co-worker.