In 1921, Stanford University began studying children who had genius level IQs. They discovered that IQ or intelligence is not the most vital element for success. Rather, it is self-confidence, perseverance, and an inclination to set goals. In other words, the simple act of acknowledging and defining what we want to accomplish is more important to success in life than even a high IQ.

But goals are sometimes difficult to attain. (We all know that familiar feeling of not moving forward on a goal, and the ensuing voice that says – “What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you get that done?!?). And other times, goals don’t feel satisfying once we accomplish them.

Perhaps that’s because we often make our goals things we have to get done, instead of things we want to get done – in other words, our goals are very often not associated with our dreams and our heart’s desires. However, there is no excitement, motivation or passion in a “have to”. There is nothing compelling about a “have to”.

For example: When you set the goal to become partner in the family business, did that come from a true, passionate place inside of you? Or, did that goal emerge from the expectations that your family had of you? You know it’s a “have to” goal if it feels heavy, and tough to start. On the other hand, compelling goals – or dreams – usually make our heart sing; we feel excited, energized, and ready to take steps right away.

Perhaps if we could shift our ideas of goals from obligations into wishes – into dreams, limitless possibilities for ourselves and the world – we would have a much better chance of achieving our goals because we would be energized, inspired and compelled to do so ALL along the way.

The best way I have learned to dream up new futures and exciting possibilities is by setting aside my fears (fears of not being successful, not having enough time, not having enough money, on and on) and asking myself what my heart truly desires. So often, our fears prevent us from even recognizing what it is we really want. So, just for a moment, let go of the nay-saying voice inside of you, and dream big. When I say “dream BIG”, I mean – if you’re an artist, don’t just see yourself at the local gallery, see yourself at the MOMA; if you have a dream to help women, start a national not-for-profit; if you want to make $150K per year, set your sights on $300K per year.

Perhaps after that, you might re-adjust your wish so that it becomes realistic within the resources you have. Or perhaps – it doesn’t need any re-adjusting at all.

And then you’ll have a dream that’s not only compelling and worth pursuing, but that will feel satisfying and great once you achieve it.

Some Questions to Help Uncover Your Dreams:

1. What goals or priorities in your life right now are “have to”s, obligations, or expectations of others?

2. What goals or priorities in your life right now drain your energy, leaving you tired or upset?

3. Take a moment and put aside fears about time and money. In your wildest dreams, what do you want to accomplish in your life?

4. Again, put aside fears about time and money for a moment. What’s something that you want to do, that you haven’t even fully admitted to yourself?