I’ve been a Business and Career Coach for seven years now. That’s a real milestone for me (and for coaching!) because when I started in the field, the profession was entirely new, and I was very concerned about whether it would catch on. It has turned out to be absolutely terrific work for me on two counts: it suits my interests and talents, and — since it affords me complete flexibility with my work schedule — it complements my being a mother of young children. I coach mostly in the evenings and on weekends, and I have been able to shift my daytime coaching schedule when necessary to attend my children’s field trips, doctor visits, etc. I also usually take the entire month of August off to vacation with them. I cherish this kind of flexibility, and it has been far more valuable to me than the missed income of full time 9-5 work.

But a funny thing has started to happen just this year — the “seven year itch,” I suppose. My kids are getting older and are spending a lot more time at school and with their friends. Simultaneously, I have finally defined my coaching niche (after working with all sorts of clients for many years), and I have also developed an extensive community of professional colleagues in lots of different but related fields. While my children’s needs are becoming less and less “hands on,” my coaching business feels extremely ripe for growth and development. But if I take my business to the next level, I will most likely lose my flexibility and — more importantly — the closeness to my children and their everyday ups and downs. This kind of trade-off feels costly and echoes the feelings of many modern women trying to “have it all.”

In the many books that I’ve read about personal development and growth, most say that true expansion of oneself is often prefaced by a symbolic death of one’s old self. The books add that you must acknowledge this shift and allow space for the uneasy transition or else risk getting stuck in it, clinging hard to a past that you’ve outgrown. Indeed, many of my coaching clients are in this very place which I’ve come to call “the prison cell of the known.” Their life circumstances feel familiar and comfortable yet also limiting because they can’t seem to stretch out to realize new vistas. I have come to enjoy coaching people out of their comfort zone because I can see that the outcomes on the other end are so worthwhile, perhaps in part because the growth process itself is so strenuous. As fitness trainers say, “No pain, no gain.”

But what about me and this seven year itch? What’s on the horizon for me? Why is it so much easier to coach others than myself? I do know that one big lesson I’ve learned from parenting is to let go of control, because just when I think one of my children’s problems is going to last forever, it disappears. So as I journey to complete my first book and work on branding myself and my new web site, will I be abandoning my children? Or modeling for them what joyful work looks like? Will increased business create financial resources that will allow for more exciting opportunities for me and my family? Will I come to see that the best thing I could do was provide an early safe and nurturing environment and that at some inevitable point I would have to let them fly on their own? I do not know the answers to all of these questions, but I do know that growing my business feels right to me but not easy all the same.

What about you? Are you stuck? Do you resist growth? Do you always look for a safety net? Be sure to check out www.SurpassYourDreams.com, www.ChangingCourse.com, and of course, www.PersephoneZill.com for resources on taking your life to the next level. Here’s to reaching new heights!

Have a great fall,
Persephone Zill